Because our lives are more interesting than yours.

Heyyyyy, guys.

Okay, first off, before you say anything, I think I should just come right out and say that I’m sorry. I know, I know. No, really. I know. And I apologize. I’m sorry. Seriously, I am. Really. And I’m sorry.

It’s one thing not to post during finals week and when you’re all caught up in graduating. It’s something completely different to vanish for almost four months and not post anything aside from a short little Halloween bit. I kinda dropped the ball on that one…

Again, I apologize.

Can you ever forgive me?

It’s been a weird time for me lately. I’ve been running around trying to find a new job, work on writing and personal projects, make time for friends, and yet somehow still end up feeling like I’ve botched it all up. Bleh.

I guess Christmas did help me feel a bit better… Christmas always helps. And, hey, we just made it into another year, too. Happy 2012, everybody! Somehow, I can’t help but get excited about the start of a new year. It feels like it holds so much promise. Who knows what I might achieve? I did just start a new job. That might be good. Well, it isn’t yet… But it could change. Maybe. Ooh, maybe I’ll get a lot of writing done that I intend to. Or maybe this is the year that I find that special someone who I’ll spend the rest of my life with. It could happen, right?

Hmm… This all feels vaguely familiar…

Oh. Yeah. These are the same high hopes I remember having last New Year’s. And look how well that turned out, right? In fact, the more I think about it, I can’t really remember any of my New Year’s expectations coming through… New Year’s sucks.

I’m really depressed now…

Ugh. I could use a pick-me-up. Is there anything to look forward to in this new year?

Wait… What’s this..?

Also known as "DOOP."

“The Death of…” Awwwwwww, come on! What the heck is this? “The Death of Optimus Prime”? You’ve got to be kidding me. Really, IDW Comics? Really? I pick up a new Transformers comic and you pull this on me? Come on! Have you no decency?

Why does Optimus Prime always die???

Died... FOR YOUR SINS!

Okay, okay. My bad. I flew a little off the handle there for a second. I admit it. I shouldn’t have done that.

Still, what the heck? “The Death of Optimus Prime”? Did IDW Comics really have to go and make one of those stories?

Perhaps I should explain… I’ve talked before about the early days of Transformers history, back in the ‘80’s with the original line of toys and the original cartoon. And one of the highlights of the original “Generation 1” was the 1986 Transformers movie where, after an all-out brawl with the evil Megatron, OPTIMUS PRIME DIED. It was meant to be a powerful, emotional moment lamenting the death of a hero that left kids in tears on the way home from the theatre.

It’s one of the big moments in Transformers history. Powerful. Poignant. I love it.

Once you (die and) go black, you don't go back.

But… since then, almost any and every incarnation of the Transformers franchise has somehow tried to emulate that same moment. Which isn’t necessarily a bad idea… even if it is just to sell more toys. It’s good storytelling. A heroic death can make for good drama.

The problem is that this has happened over and over. Optimus Prime, in all of his incarnations and universes, has died. A LOT. Like the time where he was reanimated and killed again as a zombie…

"Hard driiiiives... Hard driiiiives..."

Or died in another shootout with the Decepticons…

Tis but a scratch.

Or was beaten to death at the hands of a powered-up Megatron…

"You died?" "I got better."

Or actually CRUMBLED TO DUST in “Armada”…

There's MOSTLY dead, and then there's ALL dead.

Or decided to voluntarily kill himself because he lost a video game. Seriously…

No, really. This ACTUALLY happened.

Or was stabbed and shot in the back in “Revenge of the Fallen”…

Died to save Shia LaBeouf. Not the guy's finest hour...

Or died in the very first episode of “Transformers Animated”…

A new record!

Or…

Merely a flesh wound!

Uhh…

I've had worse...

Okay! We get it! You can stop now!

I'm INVINCIBLE!

Geez. So, yeah, you can see why I’m not exactly optimistic about another story featuring “The Death of Optimus Prime.”

However… Upon reading this comic I was pleasantly surprised to find something completely different. This is a story that features the death of Optimus Prime… but not in the way you’d expect. Because this isn’t a story about the death of Optimus Prime as a person. Really, this is a story about the Transformers as a whole facing a big change and dealing with an uncertain future.

The end of IDW Comics’ last Transformers storyline, “Chaos,” saw the heroic Autobots facing down a planet-wide crisis on their home planet of Cybertron and emerging victoriously. I won’t say much more here because you should check it out for yourselves but, basically, the Autobots win. And now in “The Death of Optimus Prime” they find themselves in a world after the war. The Decepticons are conquered and the planet is ready to start rebuilding. However, as more and more non-combatants and refugees return to Cybertron, the Autobots begin to find themselves at a loss for what to do now. Now that the war is over, what place is there for the likes of Optimus Prime?

This is a story about transitions, wrapping up IDW Comics’ previous Transformers storylines and setting up for two new series to come in this new year.“Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye” will focus on a handful of Autobots setting out into space to find the legendary “Knights of Cybertron” and return their civilization to a glorious golden age.

I'd make another Monty Python and the Holy Grail joke here but I've gone WAY beyond my limit.

“Transformers: Robots in Disguise” will look at the aftermath of the Autobot-Decepticon war on Cybertron. Now that the fighting’s done, how will the Autobots, Decepticons, and neutral Cybertronians coexist and deal with old hostilities?

Law and Order: Cybertron

If you get the chance, check out IDW’s “The Death of Optimus Prime.” It’s a surprisingly good story that sets up for new plotlines to come and, frankly, I’m really excited to see what comes next. What happens to the Transformers now that their war is over? What does Optimus Prime do in a world that no longer needs him? I’ll definitely check out “More Than Meets the Eye” and “Robots in Disguise” to see where the story goes from here.

Huh. Look at that. I guess there is something to look forward to in this new year. And hopefully I’ll be back again soon with new content. Happy New Year, everybody.

- Natron out

Hey guys,

Once again I find myself away from the computer for a while. In this case I’m here in-between a week of camp counseling in the mountains and a week of family vacation at the beach. So while I’m working on getting some new content together, August really isn’t a good month for me getting any work done.

However, I did want to stop by quickly and remind you all to celebrate! Why? Because this very week, 25 years ago, the original 1986 animated Transformers came out in theatres.

"Beyond your wildest imagination"? Dude, my imagination can get pretty wild...

Happy 25^th anniversary, everybody! Whoo!

True, Transformers as a franchise have been around longer than that, but “The Transformers: The Movie” still remains the pinnacle achievement of the original “Generation 1” series. The animation is great. The voice acting is top-notch, with stars like Leonard Nemoy to appeal to the nerds and Orson Wells to placate the film snobs. And the action and story still holds up after 25 years, something I highly doubt the Michael Bay movies will be able to boast about…

If you’re looking for a way to kill an hour-and-a-half this week, I highly recommend it. Check out the original (and in my opinion, still the greatest) Transformers movie and celebrate 25+ years of Transformers awesomeness.

… Except for the part where Optimus Prime dies.

Died... FOR YOUR SINS!

- Natron out

…

…

H’oh boy…

…

…

I don’t even know where to start with this one.

Starring Optimus Prime and Shia LaBeouf... but not necessarily in that order.

…

Alright, I suppose a good place to start would be to say that I’m back. Whoo. I’ve been on a bit of a break from this site for the past month or so. After graduating from college (huzzah) I just thought I could use some down time. And I haven’t been completely inactive; I’ve been trying to get caught up on a bunch of other writing projects I let slide for a while. So that’s been going well.

And, I’ll admit, it was kinda nice to get away from this for a while, too. No worrying about the next Survival Guide, no reviewing random nerdy stuff, no bitching about the Superman movies… I think I might have almost been kind of normal for a bit. Or at least less of a nerd. For a small, fleeting moment there…

Until this. Wednesday night I, being me, went out to see the latest Transformers movie, “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” And before I get into anything else I’m gonna say right off the bat that yes, I had the misfortune of seeing it in 3D. And I absolutely wish I hadn’t. It made everything irritating to look at, physically hurt my eyes, and was painfully forced. F*ck 3D.

You poor, dumb sheep.

That felt good to say out loud.

But anyway, yes, I went and I saw “Transformers: Dark of the Moon.” And… You know, it just figures. I’ve been out to see a ton of movies so far this summer. “Thor,” “Pirates of the Caribbean,” “Green Lantern”…  I ended up seeing “X-Men: First Class” several times with different people because it was so good. And none of them made me want to hop back on this blog and start ranting endlessly again. Until this one. It had to be this one. It had to be Transformers. This was the movie that pulled me back in.

“Transformers 3”… Geez… Alright, I’m just gonna come right out and say it. “Transformers 3” was totally and completely awfultacular. Wait… No, I mean it was craptastic. No, that’s not right… Really, it was incredibad. No, wait, wait…

I… I can’t describe this thing. “Transformers 3” is some sort of mystic impossibility. Somehow, in some way I can’t even comprehend, this movie achieved the impossible feat of being both awesome and total sh*t at the same time. Really. I can’t understand it. This movie defies logic; I want to love it but at the exact same time I want to take it out behind the woodshed and beat it to death.

We loves it so much... We hates it, we hates it, my precious...

This… What is this?? It’s almost as if…

As if…

…

Oh my gosh, I think I just got it. I think I understand now. My God, it’s so simple. When I went and saw “Transformers: 3,” I didn’t see just one movie. I saw two. “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” is actually two completely different movies rolled into one! This explains everything!

No, seriously, it does. Just hear me out. Even though it’s all one movie, there’s actually two completely different stories going on. There’s all the cool and interesting stuff going on with Optimus Prime and the other Transformers fighting it out… and all the eye-gougingly awful stuff going on with everyone else, a.k.a. the humans. Half of this movie is great while the other half sucks. The problem is that the cool stuff and the sh*t stuff are both in this movie together.

Some stuff I liked. And yes, pretty much all of the good stuff is the Transformers stuff. The secret reason behind NASA going to the moon in the ‘60’s? That was cool. The evil Decepticon plan to enslave Earth? That was cool. The whole plot with Sentinel Prime and how he decided to betray the Autobots? That was cool.

Of course he's evil. He's the Spock with a goatee!

Optimus Prime doing badass stuff like fly in on a jetpack and eviscerate Decepticons? That was EFFING AWESOME.

"GIVE ME YOUR FACE."

However… every moment in this movie that was cool and full of sweet Transformers action was undermined by the fact that every other moment not Transformer-focused was irritatingly bad. We spend scene upon scene with Sam Witwicky, played by the gratingly annoying Shia LaBeouf, as he does. F*cking. NOTHING.

"Nonononono!! Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait!!!"

Oh sure, stuff is happening. But none of it’s very important or interesting. We see him bitch about how he doesn’t have a job, how it totally sucks to work in the mailroom, and how bad it is that he’s not hanging out with the Autobots saving the world. Dear Sam, I DON’T CARE. You got a f*cking free ride through an Ivy League college AND you’re shacking up with a Victoria’s Secret model. A Victoria’s Secret model which, no surprise, Michael Bay has do nothing more throughout the whole movie than look hot.

Tight dress? Check. Long legs? Check. Vapid expression? Check.

GET REAL PROBLEMS.

I suppose I could mention how much better “Dark of the Moon” is than it’s predecessor, “Revenge of the Fallen” because “Dark of the Moon” doesn’t have the racist Skids and Mudflap or all the robot humping. And it doesn’t. But low and behold it still finds a way to piss me off with all the forced, unnecessary jokes that shouldn’t be there. Sam’s parents somehow find their way back into this movie, to make even more creepy comments about Sam’s sex life. Ken Jeong pops out of nowhere to practically molest Sam in a bathroom and call himself “Deep Wang.” Seriously.

Weren't there supposed to be TRANSFORMERS somewhere in this movie?

And when Starscream, one of the main bad guys, is killed, it’s in a cartoonish farce with Shia LaBeouf screaming like a little girl and SOMEHOW jabbing a grenade in Starscream’s eye. What could be a cool scene just comes off as stupid. You don’t need ANY of this.

Really, that’s the whole movie. The Transformers show up to do cool stuff but then every other scene is undermined by Sam Witwicky and his team of assorted farce characters who do stupid, pointless sh*t.

And this is the part that kills me… THE STUPID SH*T IS THE MAIN FOCUS OF THE MOVIE. It’s ALWAYS been the main part. Yeah, characters like Optimus Prime and Megatron are there, but they’re practically side characters. Instead, we’re meant to follow the adventures of SHIA LABEOUF and actually give a damn about his melodramatic “problems” and maybe, maybe we’ll see the Transformers every once in a while.

"Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap! Gotta runrunrunrunrun!"

Even in the climactic battle scene, when the Autobots need to sneak into Chicago and stop the Decepticons from taking over the world, we have to follow the group of HUMANS.

I DIDN’T GO TO A MOVIE CALLED “TRANSFORMERS” TO SEE HUMANS. I WENT TO A MOVIE CALLED “TRANSFORMERS” TO SEE TRANSFORMERS.

… Whew. I feel better now. I just really wanted to get that off my chest. “Transformers: Dark of the Moon” would be a truly great movie if not for the fact that half the time it focuses on pointless, annoying human characters that I don’t care about in the first place. Unfortunately, this is not the case, and instead I’m here before you today sounding like a Dissociative Identity Disorder patient as I say I both love and hated this movie.

Yeah. Kinda like this guy.

I don’t really know how else to put it. If you like Transformers, check it out, because the Transformer stuff is pretty cool. But be warned- you’ll be sitting through a lot of crap at the same time. Crap that has the face of Shia LaBeouf.

-Natron out

Generation 2: When the 80's Met the 90's

Hmmm…

Hmmm…

Alright, here’s the deal: right now I’m trying my damnedest to procrastinate the hell out of all the work I should be doing. I’ve got essays due in all my classes and I’m pretty sure there’s a presentation in there somewhere. But, naturally, I don’t want to do any of it. So I thought that once again I’d take this week as a chance to continue our look back at the history of Transformers!

Make it so!

Because what better way to put off writing an essay that to… write something else. It kind of makes sense. Maybe.

Anyways, last time we looked at the end of “Generation 1,” the latter half of that shiny and new first era of Transformers history. And it was an awkward end. Toys kept getting more gimmicky and bizarre and the TV cartoon had been on reruns for years. The Transformers that began in 1984 fizzled out in 1991 as the toyline ended.

And then, after vanishing for two years, Transformers came back in 1993 for a new generation. It was called “Generation 2.”

Generation 2: Electric Boogaloo

Really? Just “Generation 2”? Way to be creative, Hasbro. I mean, I guess it’s better than “Transformers: The Next Generation,” but still.

Name aside, I just have one small problem with “G2”: I’m not really sure what to say about this period of Transformers history. It’s weird. I remember this was when I first started getting into Transformers, when I was about 5 or 6 years old and could finally play with complex toys without breaking them. And that was fun. But looking back now… I don’t know how to describe it.

But if I had to describe it… This is going to sound weird, but “Generation 2” was basically “Generation 1.”

No, really. I’m being serious. Two years after the end of “Generation 1,” Hasbro took all of their more popular Transformers toys and just re-released them. That Optimus Prime that came out in 1984? Same toy that came out in 1993. Remember the Dinobots, those dinosaur Transformers from 1985? They were sold in 1993, too. Believe me, I should know- one of them was my first Transformer.

Daddy loves you, son.

All those toy robots you knew and loved from the mid-‘80’s were right there on toy shelves in the early ‘90’s. “Generation 2” was just a repackaged “Generation 1!”

Actually… Alright, I admit that’s not entirely true. There were actually a “few” differences. And I mean “few” the same way there’s a “few” differences between a raving coke addict and Charlie Sheen.

The Transformers that were released in “G2” usually came with new weapons and accessories, such as Optimus Prime coming with two badass handguns and a voicebox in his trailer… which had someone who sounded nothing like Peter Cullen saying, “I am Optimus Prime!” And some “G2” toys (mostly during ’94 and ‘95) were entirely new molds. Instead of turning into a gun like his 1984 toy, Megatron now turned into an entire tank.

"I'm here to blow s#!@ up and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum!"

Finally, right? I never understood why in the hell the freakin’ leader of the Decepticons would turn into a handgun for someone else to use. Unless…

"Hold me, Starscream. Like you did on Naboo."

But no, that’s not what everyone remembers about “Generation 2” toys. What do they remember?

Neon.

GAHHH!!! My eyes! Oh lord, my eyes!!

Garish, clashing, early ‘90’s neon. You see, when older Transformer toys were re-released for “G2,” they almost always got a new paint job. Sure, you already had a “G1” Grimlock, but that one was grey. Why don’t you buy this new one? This one is blue! You don’t have this blue one yet!

Some of the repaints looked just fine. Others were weird, but you’d expect that with toys, right? But then some of them…

How many colors can YOU cram onto one toy?

It looked like someone puked a rainbow. Bags of Skittles didn’t have as many bright colors as these things!

Basically, fans in the early ‘90’s agreed. Some didn’t care from the re-releasing of older toys. Many didn’t care for the violently neon colors. Why buy something the color of radioactive sin when you had the same toy in better colors sitting on a shelf from 10 years ago?

And the cartoon? The cartoon was just recycled “G1,” too! All they did was stick a new “Generation 2” logo on the title card and have clips of Optimus Prime introducing the episode.

"Now this is the story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside-down..."

But beyond that it was the exact same cartoon from the ‘80’s in reruns. No new episodes, no new animation. I think the one part of “G2” that actually was original was the Marvel comic series, which came out with new, original stories. But beyond that, if you squinted “G2” looked just like “G1.” Needless to say, the line wasn’t the most well-received.

The “Generation 2” toyline lasted from 1993 to 1995 in all its neon weirdness. But with many fans viewing “Generation 2” as a worse version of “Generation 1,” once again sales dwindled and the line ended after only about two-and-a-half years. I’d say the word that defines this generation is “neon,” but I think “Generation 2” deserves more credit than it’s given. The colors were bizarre,

WAY bizarre.

but the new molds were technologically a step forward from clunky “G1,” thanks largely to the use of more articulate ball joints that could swivel in any direction. And, as a little kid in ’93, I didn’t mind the re-releases because I didn’t have the originals in the first place. Perhaps the one word to describe “Generation 2” is “rebirth.”

And if I had two words to describe it, it’d be “neon rebirth.”

In the end, another generation of Transformers history was over. But where “G2” failed, something new and unusual was about to arrive and give Transformers a true rebirth…

"What in the hell..?"

But we’ll tame that beast later.

-Natron out

Wow, I guess that Captain Morgan hit harder than I thought…

Man, that was some February.

Anyways, hey. After a little bit of a break, this week I thought we’d return again to the history of Transformers as we continue to look at the early years of “Generation 1.”

However, the thought has occurred to me that there are probably some of you out there wondering why I love Transformers so much. Who cares, right? Well, I suppose if you really must know, I actually once spent a little time as leader of the Decepticons. True story. It was around when Megatron “died” that one time and hey, no one knew if he was coming back or not, so they had this little election and, straight out of nowhere, I found myself at the head of a robot empire. Really. Hey, where do you think the name “Natron” came from?

Kind of looks like me. Just add more human.

I admit I wasn’t really the most qualified for the job, but we gave it a shot. It actually kind of worked for a while. We hung out, we watched movies, we ate Doritos. It was a good time. Too bad it didn’t last… That Starscream guy kept wanting to “do” stuff like conquer planets and junk. Whatever. I ended up leaving, but I’m still on pretty good terms with most of the guys. I’d like to think I was the most likable Decepticon leader they ever had…

But that’s not important anymore. We’re here to talk about the history of the Transformers franchise, not any real Transformers… Which may or may not exist…

Transformers: making you paranoid of your car since 1984.

Anyways, when last we left, halfway through the original “Generation 1” of Transformers, everything was going pretty well. The Transformers toyline had successfully gotten off the ground, with Hasbro and Takara re-releasing Takara’s old toys and renaming them “Transformers.” And the toys became extremely popular because Hasbro marketed the hell out of them. The Transformers had a Marvel Comics series, their own cartoon, games, clothes… all sorts of merchandise. And all of it to market Transformers to kids as kick-ass alien robots from the planet Cybertron locked in epic civil war. And it was good.

"And on the 8th Day, the Lord played with his action figures..."

But then in 1986… everything changed.

Or “transformed,” if you will. Ba-zing!

…

…

Okay, I admit, that was really bad… I apologize. Sorry.

But anyway, 1986 was a pivotal year in Transformers history because it really was when everything changed. To understand why, I suppose once again the best place to start is with the toys themselves. After two years of taking Takara’s old toys and re-releasing them as “Transformers,” Hasbro reached a turning point: they had used up all of Takara’s old toy molds. There was nothing else to re-release. Which means that Hasbro was faced with a radical notion… make new Transformers.

I know, right? What a ridiculous idea.

So in 1986, Hasbro began making all new molds and releasing brand-new Transformers. And even though the earlier toys changed into a wide variety of forms (cars, planes, guns, boomboxes, dinosaurs, etc.) and had gimmicks like combination or triple-changing, the new ones that came out were all over the place. They just got weirder and weirder as each year went by. Seriously. Transformers began changing into futuristic, alien vehicles, bizarre creatures, even things like buildings and battle stations. And the gimmicks became even more outlandish. There were Transformers that turned into heads for other Transformers (headmasters), Transformers that turned into weapons and armor (targetmasters), Transformers that disguised themselves in monstrous outer shells (pretenders).

A Transformer within a Transformer within a Transformer? TransCEPTION!

There were Transformers that shot sparks, that shot water, that changed colors in water, that turned s#!% into gold, that could dodge bullets, that could leap tall buildings in a single bound, that knew kung fu, that could…

Gahh, ow, ow, ow! I think I just ruptured something. Oh man, that was ridiculous.

Clearly, 1986 was when the Transformers toyline started changing into the completely bizarre, but that actually wasn’t the biggest change to happen. Probably the most important change came in the Transformers cartoon.

In 1986, after two seasons of the Transformers cartoon on television, they came out with a legit, released-in-theatres Transformers movie.

Plans for the next Star Wars got REALLY weird.

For reals. Looking back, more than even the toyline itself, this was probably the single most important event in “Generation 1” history, because it was simultaneously the greatest and worst thing to happen to the Transformers storyline.

How? Well, from a real-world standpoint, the Transformers movie was meant to be a changing of the guard, a chance to introduce new characters into the story. After all, Hasbro was making new Transformers toys, and they wanted to market them! So they’d want to make cartoon characters to promote them. Makes sense, right?

Buuttttt… in order to introduce the new characters, Hasbro decided they wanted to get rid of the old ones…

Hasbro had its trained monkeys take those old characters for a little walk around back...

Which brings us to the story. After years of scheming (all the way into the far-flung future of 2005. Remember how futuristic that year was?), Megatron and the Decepticons finally lead an all-out assault on the Autobots’ city on Earth, cutting a huge bloody wake of destruction and killing a ton of Autobots. All seems lost… until Optimus Prime arrives to save the day. Optimus shoots his way through a horde of footsoldiers and faces Megatron solo in hand-to-hand combat. This fight is totally and completely BADASS. They just wail on each other and Optimus is almost about to win when Megatron pulls an underhanded trick and fatally wounds Optimus. And while Megatron’s also beaten to hell and the Decepticons are forced to retreat, little kids everywhere had to watch one of the worst moments in childhood movie history:

Optimus Prime dies.

Ho. Ly. Crap. I know Hasbro wanted to rotate out old characters and replace them with new ones, but… seriously? They had to f*cking kill Optimus Prime??? Good lord! Screw the whole “changing of the guard” thing, Hasbro had to have one of the most iconic cartoon heroes in history die on-screen lying in a robot hospital bed.

Died... FOR YOUR SINS.

Wow. Just… wow.

I don’t even know where to go after that. I mean, the movie continues, sure. The tattered remains of the Decepticons come across this godlike planet-Transformer named Unicron, who basically resurrects them all so they can be his slaves and help destroy the universe. What Autobots remain flee Earth with the “Matrix of Leadership,” a shiny talisman that, of course, is the one thing that can destroy Unicron. What luck, right?

The bad guys try to stop them, but ultimately the Autobots destroy Unicron and unite under their new leader, a turbo-revvin’ young punk named Hot Rod, who saves the day and becomes “Rodimus Prime.” The Autobots emerge victorious. Huzzah…

"Light our darkest hour!"

So, yeah, that was the movie. And even after all that craziness, the cartoon still continued for another season on TV. Really. After Optimus dying and half the cast being replaced, the cartoon continued for one more season… but with a dynamic shift in tone. Season 3 moved to a more humorous, lighthearted feel, with more stories set in far-off space and in more absurd scenarios. It was weird. Season 3 had all the characters, both Autobot and Decepticon, exploring the strange new world of the beyond…

I suppose season 3 was… okay. But a definite void could be felt after the freakin’ death of Optimus Prime. Sorry, I still can’t get past that. It was just such a huge moment that the show never really recovered from. What was Transformers without the iconic Optimus Prime? Many fans were outraged after the movie over how banally Optimus died. In fact, so great was the outcry… that the cartoon’s writers brought him back. Season 3 ended with a multi-part story literally resurrecting Optimus Prime from the dead to combat a plague spreading across the galaxy. And the day was saved. Huzzah!

And on the third day, he rose... to take names and kick ass.

And while bringing Optimus Prime back was awesome, it kind of came too little too late. Aside from one final mini-season, the return of Optimus Prime came at the end of the Transformers cartoon… and with it the end of the “Generation 1” storyline. Japan kept the cartoon going with their own continuing storylines, and the comics continued in a limited capacity, but the end of the cartoon meant the end of an era. While the first half of “Generation 1” was about establishing an image, the second half took that image and pushed it into something new and strange.

By the end of the “G1” run in 1991, Transformers as people knew them were finished. They’d run their course, with the cartoon long over and popularity for the toyline waning. And if the franchise was to continue, something needed to change.

And, soon enough, something would…

The arrival of NEON...

But that’s a story for another day.

- Natron out

Hey guys,

Nothing new this week (now that I’m stuck in the middle of another semester, I think I’m going to go back to posting every other week), but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t show you the latest Transformers news. In case you missed it, check out the trailer that aired yesterday during the Superbowl:

On July 1st, Earth goes dark…

Say what you will about Michael Bay, but the man knows his explosions and gratuitous, mind-numbing special effects. And really, what more could you ask for?

MI-BA-BLA-BA-SPLOSIONS!! BLAAMMM!!!

That’s all for now. Check back next week for (hopefully) a little something for Valentine’s Day.

- Natron out

Hmmm…

Okay, originally I was thinking of using this week’s post to do another At the Movies review for “Tron: Legacy,” which I saw last week. But the more I thought about it, I really didn’t think there’s much to say. I mean, the visuals were spectacular and the soundtrack was surprisingly good (props to Daft Punk for that one), but the story itself was just kind of… meh. It’s one of those movies that’s big on action and small on plot, and if you stop and think about it you realize nothing makes sense.

"Man, I am so totally baked right now..."

Instead, since it is the start of a brand new year, I thought this would be as good a time as any to try something different. A new year means new opportunities, and a chance to start up new projects. And this is something I’ve been planning on doing for a while now. As kind of a new segment here on TwistedEncore, I’d like to delve into the history of one of the most awesomely nerdy things I hold very near and dear to my heart. Something that, like “Tron,” is totally ‘80’s. Something that’s more than meets the eye. Oh yeah. I’m talking about the one, the only…

Robots in disguise, muthaf&@%a!

That’s right, we’re going there. Why? Because I can, my friends. Because I can. I know I’ve probably said it before, but I freakin’ love Transformers. They’re robots that can turn into… well, darn near anything. Cars, animals, weapons, you name it. It’s two toys in one! Besides, they’re some of the first toys I can remember playing with. The first toy I ever actually bought was a Transformer (1993 Grimlock, which I still have. Most of it).

Daddy loves you, son.

And I still have a pretty decent collection. They’re just plain fun.

Well, okay, more than that I thought this would be a good way to actually sit down and take a look back at all that Transformers have been over the years. After all, these things have been around since 1984. Over a quarter of a century and somehow they’re still as popular as ever. Whether you like ‘em or not, that’s pretty impressive. And with this new segment, which I’ll try to do every month or so, I’d like to take a look back and see how far Transformers have come over the years. So let’s do this thing!

His enthusiasm is over 9000.

I suppose a good place to start would be “In the Beginning.” However, the idea for Transformers didn’t come out of nowhere. In fact, they weren’t even an original creation. Transformers were born out of a joint venture between American toy company Hasbro and Japanese toy company Takara as a way to resell toys that Takara already had. Takara had already been making toy robots that turned into cars with toylines like Microchangers (small car-robots) and Diaclone (vehicles that turned into mechs that tiny figures could pilot). So, with Hasbro, they decided to take what toys they were already producing and sell them together as an entirely new toyline of transforming robots. And thus, in 1984, Transformers were born!

And there was much rejoicing.

"NEEERRRRRRRRRRDS!"

These days, the original Transformers line is known as “Generation 1” (“G1”), but back then they were just called “The Transformers.” And they came in a variety of shapes and sizes. Up until 1986, Hasbro and Takara just reused Takara’s old toys and released them as Transformers, so there were already lots to chose from. There were cars, trucks, planes, guns, boomboxes (and cassette tapes), microscopes, bugs, dinosaurs… There were Transformers that could combine and form an even BIGGER robot and Transformers that could turn into more than one vehicle.

Some assembly required...

All of which made for some cool toys. But part of what made Transformers as popular as they became was how Hasbro marketed them. They didn’t just sell them, they built up an entire franchise around them! Hasbro developed an entire backstory for the Transformers, how they’re actually alien robots from a mechanical world called Cybertron, fighting each other in a civil war that has lasted millennia and spanned galaxies.

"It's only a model."

And now their fight has come to Earth, where, to disguise themselves, they transform into everyday vehicles and fight in secret.

In other words, it was every 8-year-old’s fighting robot fantasy. And Hasbro marketed it to death. The Transformers had their own Marvel comic book series, where they not only followed their own storyline but even crossed over with other Marvel characters like Spider-Man.

Don't worry, Spider-Man. There's a lot of other things you should feel foolish about.

There were coloring books, games, clothes… and a cartoon.

This is probably what everyone remembers the most about the original Transformers- the cartoon. Like the comic books, the cartoon series followed the adventures of both sides of the Cybertronian war on Earth: the evil Decepticons, under the power-hungry Megatron,

Megatron > Regular Tron

and the heroic Autobots, under the AWESOME Optimus Prime.

"I died for your sins."

As the cartoon showed, while fighting in space millions of years ago, both their ships crash-landed on Earth and knocked everybody into stasis, only to be woken up again in 1984 to continue their fight while discovering Earth culture. And that’s how most of the episodes went. The Autobots would be interacting with their human friends, Megatron and the Decepticons would come up with some evil plan to destroy them, they’d fight, the Autobots would win, wash, rinse, repeat.

Once again, the day is saved thanks to... the Powerpuff Girls!

Looking back now, the animation is full of errors but still fun to watch (in that retro kind of way). Stories were mostly formulaic and self-contained. But the voice acting was top-notch, with the likes of Peter Cullen and the legendary Frank Welker giving life to multiple characters and infusing each one with their own personality. Like the scheming underling Starscream, the rugged old ‘bot Ironhide, or the emotionless, monotone Soundwave. Oh, that Soundwave…

"Soundwave is watching you, puny internet blogger..."

Not to mention the cool, electronic theme song the show had and that completely BADASS transforming sound effect that every kid’s heard before. You know the one. The cartoon was ‘80’s cheese, but still fun.

In looking back at everything so far, if I had to pick one word to sum everything up it’d be “image.” Everything that got the Transformers franchise off the ground was about giving it its image, its identity. Hasbro made a toy series into a lasting franchise because they made the toys into characters and created this whole fictional universe for them.

And then after two seasons, everything changed.

That's no moon...

But we’ll get into that next time. See, the original “Generation 1” of Transformers was pretty much one continuous toyline and storyline that lasted until 1991. That’s a lot to cover. So I’ve decided to split things in half right around 1986, when both the toys and cartoon made some pretty significant changes. But that’s something we’ll talk about in part 2…

- Natron out

Due to my… enthusiasm last month to make everything scary and Halloween-related, I’ll admit I may have neglected to talk about some other important issues which, as a nerd, I am obligated by law to rant about whether anyone wants me to or not. A few of these were actually some pretty big movie announcements dealing with three of my favorite nerdy things: Transformers, Lord of the Rings, and Batman.

With Transformers, we finally got an official title: Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Since I plan on talking a LOT about Transformers in all their incarnations in the near future, all I’ll say for now is that I think the title sounds kind of silly and that I was really gunning for Transformers: Shit Blows Up. I think that one says it all.

Bay-SPLOSIONS!

In Lord of the Rings news, the heavens themselves opened and we fans finally, FINALLY got confirmation that The Hobbit is actually going to be filmed. This made me so happy I ended up with a fever, but again I plan on talking more about this one at a later date. I’ll just say that I am already so full of anticipation that I am dusting the cobwebs off of my shelf in the space next to my Lord of the Rings extended edition DVD box set.

Which brings us to Batman news. Though we’ve known for a while that Christopher Nolan has been planning on a third Batman movie, we really haven’t heard anything beyond that… until last month, when we not only got a title (The Dark Knight Rises), but also got some important information about who the villain ISN’T. According to interviews, Nolan has said that the new bad guy “won’t be the Riddler.”

This actually makes me kinda sad since, out of all the possibles, the Riddler was the one villain I was expecting the most. It would have been great: while the Joker spent most of The Dark Knight messing with the city at large, blowing stuff up indiscriminately, I could see the Riddler coming in and playing head games with Batman alone. Trying to prove how smart he is. Figuring out his secret identity and putting pressure on both halves of Batman/Bruce Wayne, all while with Batman being hunted down by GPD. I so wanted to see a Riddler that’s cool and calculating instead of giggling. And I would have loved to see him played by David Tennant.

Guess "Who"?

But with Nolan’s announcement, many fans are trying to guess just who the next big baddie will be. Including myself. So much so that I’ve made a list, ranging from the fairly likely to the downright impossible. Who knows? It might even be someone original. Quick, to the rumor mills!

There are a lot of small-timers in the background, but as far as I can see, here’s some prominent bad guys that might be coming to a theatre near you sometime soon…

- Natron out

The Probable:

"I MUST BREAK YOU." Seriously, just add the accent.

- Bane (Antonio Diego)- The man who broke Batman? Possible. Knightfall was an important Batman story arc, and it would be a sensible course for the movies to introduce a new challenge to Batman: the one man who crippled him. Though having Batman in a body cast most of the movie would be rather inconvenient… Maybe it could be all about Gotham realizing how much they need Batman when he’s not there, and the criminals rising up again while Batman’s bedridden. Could be, maybe.

- Black Mask (Roman Sionis)- A decent possibility, I guess. One of Gotham’s biggest crime lords, he’s never been in a movie before. I could almost see him being some kind of a cultist, a uniting force for criminals and the crazies, turning the whole city against Batman (cops hunting him, criminals defying him). However, we’ve already seen the mob underworld in the forms of Carmine Falcone and Sal Maroni. And look what happened to them.

- Catwoman (Selina Kyle)- A likely choice. Catwoman would be a romantic interest that helps Batman get over Rachael, and force him to question his own line between morality and flaunting his power. The thing is, she probably wouldn’t be his antagonist. They would have a love/hate, on-again/off-again romance, which would be complicating but not dangerous. She’d be a bad girl, but not the villain. There would have to be someone else to actually hate Batman.

- Hugo Strange- Kind of possible. While I can see him messing with Batman psychologically, I think the Riddler could do it better. He’d have to have something that makes him stand out as a unique villain.

Tommy Elliot teaches you to never have childhood friends. Ever.

- Hush (Thomas Elliot)- Very possible. Maybe even my next pick after the Riddler. Like the Riddler, Hush could play some serious head games… but with him focusing more on the Bruce Wayne half of Batman. Bruce’s childhood friend who grew to resent him, Hush could wreck Batman from the inside out. Pretty much like in the Hush graphic novel.

- Killer Croc (Waylon Jones)- Maybe. The “Croc” side of him would have to be toned down for believability, but it could work. I could see Killer Croc rising up as an urban legend in the underworld, kind of like Batman. He could prey upon cops and innocents, who would inadvertently blame fellow monster Batman by mistake. Kind of a stretch to make it work realistically, but maybe. Just maybe.

- Talia al Ghul- Perhaps. Talia would be a way to bring the movie full-circle to Ra’s presence in Batman Begins, and be more believable than bringing Ra’s back from the dead (again… kind of). Plus, she could also be Batman’s love interest, torn between avenging her father and kissing Christian Bale. Bruce could also be similarly torn, struggling with whether to uphold his code or join with Talia. It could work, I guess.

- Two-Face (Harvey Dent)- Perhaps..? I could see the next movie having him going on a vendetta against mobsters, killing like Holiday in The Long Halloween. But between him and the Joker, that pretty much already happened. Plus I think he’s dead. But who knows? They could do something. I believe in Harvey Dent.

The Probably Not:

- Firefly (Garfield Lynns)- Unlikely. Not because Firefly wouldn’t be an innovative new character that has never been in a movie before, but because, among the other crazy things he did, the Joker burned and blew up a lot of stuff in The Dark Knight. There’d have to be some new angle to it, which I doubt would happen.

Love is blind. And a little ditzy.

- Harley Quinn (Harleen Quinzel)- Hopefully not. While she is one of the best new characters to come around ever since starting out in the ‘90’s animated series, you can’t really have Harley without her Mr. J.

- Holiday (Alberto Falcone)- Doubtful. While it’d be interesting to bring the whole thing back around to the Falcone family, the Joker pretty much filled Holiday’s serial-killer role in The Dark Knight. Holiday would just be more of the same.

- The Joker- I doubt it. Even though he’s alive at the end of The Dark Knight, I’m pretty sure they’ll let him be. It’d just feel too much like a continuation of The Dark Knight. I would also think they’ll leave him alone with respect to Heath Ledger’s amazing performance.

- Ra’s al Ghul- Unlikely, but maybe. If he does come back, I don’t know what more they’d do with him. And he may be dead, but they twisted with that once already. You never can tell with immortals…

-Scarecrow (Jonathan Crane)- Doubtful. Like the Joker, he’s most likely locked up in Arkham Asylum. And while he was almost non-existant in The Dark Knight, he had a great run in Batman Begins (let it be known that the Scarecrow is my favorite Batman villain). They’d probably go for someone new rather than reusing the Scarecrow.

Demonic force or disturbed mental patient? You be the judge.

- Simon Hurt- This one is tricky. Although I’ve really gotten to like the character, I think he’s still a little too new to everyone right now. I did love Grant Morrison’s Batman R.I.P. storyline, though. Having Simon Hurt be as manipulative and subtly nefarious as he was made for a pretty interesting bad guy.

The Rejects (no chance):

-Clayface (Basil Karlo)- Pretty much no. A guy made of living clay has no place in the newer, more realistic Batman movies. Sorry, fans of Clayface.

- Mad Hatter (Jarvis Tetch)- Unlikely. A delusional tech wizard is cool and all, but with the Mad Hatter as a villain I could just see The Dark Knight Rises turning into “Batman meets Alice in Wonderland”.

- Man-Bat (Kirk Langstrom)- No way. A mad scientist and his mutating abilities are nowhere near realistic.

"Here is Sub-Zero! Now, Plain Zero!"

- Mr. Freeze (Victor Fries)- Another unlikely. Though I’ll admit he makes more sense than Clayface or Poison Ivy, having a guy supercool in a chemical bath and blast things with a “freezing gun” is still a little too unbelievable. Though they could make it work, they probably shouldn’t.

- Penguin (Oswald Cobblepot)- Nope. Even if he’s kind of believable, they said they wouldn’t bother with him. Which is fine by me. I never thought the Penguin was that interesting of a character.

-Poison Ivy (Pamela Isley)- Highly unlikely. Probably an outright “no.” With Chris Nolan’s more realistic Batman movies, Poison Ivy is pretty darn un-realistic. They would have to practically reinvent the character if they wanted her in.