TwistedEncore

Hmm… Methinks I haven’t been out to see a movie in a while… I haven’t done an “At the Movies” since the last “Harry Potter” back in December.

But that’s okay, because I just got back from seeing the new Marvel Comics movie “Thor” in theatres with Matt and a few of our other friends and I thought I might as well talk about it.

Stop! Hammer time.

How was it? Well, before I actually get into any kind of review, I think I probably need to point out a few background things first.

Number one: I don’t actually know that much about Thor. I’ve read some Thor comics, but not much. I’m one of those guys who prefers DC over Marvel, and even when I do read Marvel, it’s almost never Thor.

Number two: I don’t really understand Thor. I don’t specifically mean the character himself, but more how Thor and everything about him relates to the rest of the Marvel Comics universe. I don’t get it; I’ve never really been able to understand how Thor and all these Norse gods and monsters fit in with superheroes like Iron Man or Captain America. It’s always seemed out of place to me. All these other heroes have their powers through mutation, radiation, mutation, drugs, mutation, a mech suit, or mutation, but then Thor is… a Norse god. Wha..? Yeah, I know they explain it, but to me it’s just never seemed to fit. What is Norse mythology doing in Marvel Comics?

Alright, now that I think about it, it ALL seems kind of silly...

It’s like how DC Comics has the Olympian gods because of Wonder Woman. What are they doing there? And, back to Thor, why specifically is it Norse mythology that Marvel Comics uses? Maybe it’s something you just have to accept and move on, but I’ve never been able to get used to it.

Number three: I did not see this movie in 3D, which I think is probably for the best. I don’t think 3D would have added anything to the movie and actually probably would have made it more irritating to watch. I consider it three bucks saved from stupid glasses I did not need. 3D is nothing more than a cheap gimmick used to con us out of more money. Good riddance.

Alright, I just wanted to make all of that clear so that now I can officially tell all of you that, in my humble opinion, “Thor” was… meh.

Meh.

Just… meh.

Really. That’s probably the best I can say for it. It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t think it was that great. For me, “Thor” was an underwhelmingly average movie that I didn’t find overly exciting or engaging. I know I say that as someone who just admitted to never being that interested in Thor to begin with, but maybe that’s the point. As someone coming into this movie without much of any pre-established knowledge or expectations, I thought “Thor” was just… okay.

There were certainly things about it that I liked. In particular, I thought that “Thor” was pretty damn awesome visually. Costumes were surprisingly good (anyone who can make Thor’s costume look realistic deserves praise), the special effects were nice, but the sets were especially cool. Scenes on Thor’s home world of Asgard are golden and epic, showing pretty much exactly what you’d expect the realm of mighty godlike beings to look like.

I don't know what I'm looking at but man does it look cool.

And the night shots really drive home that this is a world floating in the stars, on the edge of a vast and beautiful cosmos.

(But honestly, did anyone else think “Rainbow Road” when they saw that bridge? I almost thought the guys from Mario Kart were going to drive by.)

So I definitely liked the visual side of “Thor.” But as I’m mulling this over, I think my problem with the movie was that couldn’t get myself to care story-wise. Even though there was this great big stunning world to look at, I couldn’t really get myself interested in what was going on or connect with the characters. I was never given any real reason why I should be interested in them. Right off the bat we’re introduced to Jane Foster, played by Natalie Portman, who’s out at night in the New Mexico desert to study star constellations. Or weather patterns. Or something. We’re never really told exactly what she does or why it’s important, only that whatever “it” is, it’s her passion that she’s been studying for years. But I don’t really feel any need to care about her. I never get anything from Jane beyond her, uh, astro-meteor-physics-stuff and whatever inexplicable connection she feels to Thor.

And speaking of the man himself, Thor’s probably the character I cared about the least. And he’s supposed to be the hero! But for at least a good two-thirds of this movie I was honestly never really interested in or empathetic towards anything this guy does. Mostly because I think he’s uninteresting and unlikable. I mean, he’s a typical hotheaded warrior character.

"Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women!"

He’s about to be made king but really he just likes to fight a lot. Even when getting into a fight might get his friends killed. Or start an interplanetary race war. In fact, when Thor gets banished to Earth, I kinda feel he deserves it; he really acted without thinking when attacking those Frost Giants…

Heck, even when he’s on Earth, all he can think to do is find his magic hammer so he can go home and do more fighting. It’s only when that fails that he begins to learn to lighten up and get drunk with Stellan Skarsgard.

Oddly enough, the one character I actually really liked was Loki. Which may be a bad sign whenever you identify with the villain… But really, he’s one of the few characters that actually shows common sense. He favors cunning over, you know, just fighting all the time. You can almost sympathize with him the way he was always overlooked by his father and is really a Frost Giant-freak. And don’t ask me how that works, or how no one ever noticed it until now. I don’t know; it doesn’t make sense. But out of everyone in the movie, I at least care about Loki.

He may be bad, but he's perfectly good at it.

I don’t know how much I should say about the story itself, but again it’s pretty average. Thor gets banished to Earth for being hotheaded and has to learn to be a better person before he can come back. And meanwhile his brother Loki decides to take control of Asgard while he’s away. Again, just… average.

Really what pulls the movie down is its use of movie clichés and inexplicable plot devices. Like when Odin falls into the “Odinsleep,” leaving Asgard open for Loki to take over. “Odinsleep”? Does this happen in the comics? Does Odin just pass out whenever the story needs tension? And honestly, Thor getting his god-status back through the powers of love and self-sacrifice almost made me cringe. If Natalie Portman’s tears had brought him back to life I would have called bullsh*t right there in the middle of the theatre.

Actually, there was one scene that did make me swear… when Stan Lee showed up for his obligatory cameo. Son. Of. A. Bitch.

We meet again, nemesis...

So yeah, on the whole I’d have to say that “Thor” was just… average. It may be pretty to look at, but story-wise I thought it didn’t bring anything new or exciting to the table. It was a fun popcorn movie to watch but won’t leave much of a lasting impression.

Unless of course your little brother, like mine, happens to find a large mallet in the shed and decides to run around the house shouting, “I have the power of Thor!” while smashing things. Then it’ll stick with you.

-Natron out