TwistedEncore

Seasons’ greetings, boys and girls! I just thought I’d take a quick moment to wish you all a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whatever. Here’s hoping you’re having an enjoyable time however you celebrate it.

Edit: Absolutely NO human sacrifice.

Since I’m still pretty hopped up on sugar cookies and egg nog from yesterday, I figured I’d just stop by to share with you what I consider to be my favorite Christmas movie ever. And, if you’re a nerd like me, I’m pretty sure it’s one of yours, too.

No, it’s not “A Christmas Carol,” any one of the lord-knows-how-many versions there are out there (though the Muppet version is always good). It’s not “Rudolph” or “The Grinch” or any of those old cartoons they show every year. It’s not even professional badass John McClane in the action-packed Christmas movie “Die Hard.”

"Merry Christmas to all! Oh, and uh... yippie kay yay and stuff."

They’re all great Christmas movies, but they’re no substitute for some good old superhero holiday action. And there’s only one Christmas movie that has just the superhero I want…

Taking place around Christmas counts as a Christmas movie.

That’s right. I hereby dub “Batman Returns” to be the greatest Christmas movie ever… because I am a comic book fanboy that loves Batman. That’s all. “Batman Returns” is awesome because I say so.

Although, if you do get a chance to sit down and watch it this holiday season, I do think you’ll find that it is a pretty good movie. Up until Chris Nolan rebooted the film franchise with “Batman Begins” I always considered “Batman Returns” to be my favorite in the series. Mostly because the Joel Schumacher movies (“Batman Forever” and “Batman and Robin”) were a downward spiral, but also because I think “Batman Returns” really did improve on the original.

In the sequel, Batman’s more of an established character, and I like how the movie explores the dual neuroses of Batman and Catwoman. They’ve each got some serious issues which, of course, means they find the other strangely attractive.

... in the Tim Burton tradition where "strangely attractive" means "dark and crazy."

Aside from the crazy romance, the action’s good, the acting’s good, and Danny DeVito was meant to play the Penguin. I mean, seriously.

Plus there’s just something about Tim Burton’s Gothic style that somehow I really like mixed with Christmas. It’s not one of the stereotypical, bright-colored Christmases with those obnoxiously cheery songs that stores and TV stations cram down our throats for months beforehand. This is Christmas in Gotham. Its darker tone is oddly refreshing.

And if all of that doesn’t convince you, I have only two words to say: Christopher. Walken.

"That's right, I'm... wearin' a turban. Insult me again... I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron."

I rest my case. “Batman Returns” is a holiday movie apart from the rest, but it has everything in it that you could ask for: Christmas, romance, superheroes, and Christopher Walken. Feel free to check it out when you’re binging on Christmas cookies.

-Natron out